What a glorious Sunday! Waking early after a fantastic weekend off, travelling to support a bestie who completed the Manchester Marathon, a roast dinner with my sensational mother and writing a blog, in this gorgeous sunny spring Sunday evening, sat on the balcony with a crips fresh Pinot Grigio, of course. There’s, at times, only stories wrote about these exceptional moments, but today, I am euphoric.
There’s something to be said about the ripple effect of a body of water, the sun reflecting beautifully whilst the stream majestically flows. The deepness and darkness cascades to leave a glorious moment of pure bliss before me. A stunning bright green leaf flows into my vision, swirling around in the wind. Desperately trying to avoid its watery demise, hoping for one more gust to keep it afloat. There’s a smell of pride and success in the air as many, defeated, marathon runners stumble across the bridge and down the road to their much needed relaxing destinations.
The sun, this evening, is showcasing the beautiful architecture of this fabulous city. Allowing for each moment to glisten and award credit to its design. A sky so blue, emitting joy and happiness to the entire city. I see this in smiles of families, lone warriors, casual strollers and friendly participants strolling around the city. The atmosphere is serene. The happiness is in abundance. This truly is a Sunday to be remembered.
As I call an aggressive Hello to my friend, my barber in fact, I take a minute to allow this feeling to settle. Tom Misch flicks onto the shuffle, the most appropriate score to this fabulous moment. As per my last post, I’ve undertaken a journey of self discovery. I say undertaken, however, I’ve always been the most reflective person. This time it just feels more poignant. A fresh breeze flashes past my face, making my eyelashes flicker in the moment. A refreshing moment. In these moments you often pay significant thought to those In your life. And I ask the question, can we truly trust everyone?
Unfortunately the answer is a solemn no. Of course we all have people we trust inexplicably, and those are often the relationships which never change. They are the people you don’t need to see daily just to feel the safety and security we all crave. They are the life-long relationships built on true trust, which don’t need constant affection and reassurance. These are the ones to hold on to for life. And we should all celebrate those relationships.
What I am struggling with at the moment, is all those one-sided relationships which seem to appear far too often. These situations can often lead me bereft to a point of no return. I give so much of my energy to so much of my life, which can cause deep emotional exhaustion. Something I am working hard to change. Unfortunately, I’ve given so much time, energy, passion and fight to people of late who just simply don’t deserve it. There’s a selfish culture among the human race, one that can’t be changed, or rivalled, or argued with. And that’s where my struggle lies.
I want us all to think for a moment of these situations and ask ourselves some serious questions: Will they care as much as I am doing? Will they put in as much effort as me? What am I gaining from killing myself fighting? Will it be worth it for me in the end? Will I still be the fabulous amazing human being I am today if I don’t do all of this? Deep hard questions we seriously need to think about and ensure we are considering. Although not easy thoughts or questions to ask oneself, it’s a must.
My advice is, don’t! One simple word which allows for you to make sense of a lot. Don’t be that person who puts your all into someone for it not to be reciprocated. Don’t be the person to pin all your hope and happiness on one individual. Don’t be that person who questions their friendships on the reactions and behaviours of others. You know your worth! You know your ability! You know you, far better than anyone else!
It’s important to ensure we are not fighting for dead-end situations and focus on ourselves. Because we are all beautiful, fabulous and fantastic in all our own magical ways! Take this minute to reflect on your relationships and ensure they aren’t the one-sided hideous situations which exist far too often in this crazy world. Think on you, think of you, be selfish without compromising your passion, inner core and humanity. Now’s the time for you to take control of your own god damn life!
Enjoy your Sunday my beauties,
Lots of love… RoRo XOXO.
Rowan Barr 