On this glorious sunny Monday, you find me in a very different location to the norm. The heat from the sun warms the left side of my face (finally) as a gentle breeze glides through my eyelashes. My Miu Miu sunglasses protecting my retina’s from the bright sun high in the sky. A calming constant trickle of water flows down the small waterfall into the gorgeous outdoor pond, the carp safe from predators by a thin maze of fishing line surrounding the circumference. A gentle twinkling of bird song surrounds me and fills my ears, this is pure beauty. Summer is coming, I can taste it. I feel relaxation in abundance.
My view is a stunning one. Bright green grass cascades into the distance below me. Trees stand proud and tall protecting the garden and wildlife from all possible peril. Gorgeous colours of pinks, yellows, burgundy, purples and blues thrust into my eyesight from the surrounding flowerbeds. A serene expanse of cerulean skies house this gorgeous scene sensationally. The smell of my ultimate favourite home cooked meal, Momma’s Chicken Pie™, fills my nostrils; I am home.
As I take a sip of my crips glass of Pinot Grigio, my thoughts turn to the direction of my life. Where am I going? What am I doing? What’s the plan from here? The beauty at this very moment is that I don’t fully know. Of course I have a general plan. I know where I would like to be in (insert number of years here). But I guess, what’s exciting is, the idea of not making a specific plan. My current vibe is to take each day as it comes, take each moment as it happens and embrace every single second.
I have been known on occasion (lies, all the time) to put so much energy into one aspect of my life, whether that be work, friendships or relationships. Adding a significant amount of personal pressure to myself to ensure everything is just so, in a spectacular way. But I sit here on this gorgeous spring Bank Holiday Monday and finally accept; this cannot be my M.O. It’s now time to embrace all aspects of life, and ensure I am focussing on all the details, not just one specific thing. Which is scary, of course, but it’s time, finally, to focus on ME!
I’m going to break it down for you, and hopefully this will help you gorgeous people in finding some inner sanctuary within yourselves. Let’s start with the W word; work. I am one of the most ambitious people I think you may come across, sometimes to my own detriment. I have always had the mindset to be the best I can be in whatever role I may be in at the time. This isn’t an issue per say, but you cannot let work consume you, to a point that it rules your emotions. Far often, even recently, I have allowed for pressures within the work environment to define how I feel for that day. And I can’t help but wonder… Why?! Why have I allowed myself to behave this way? It’s very clear you can still achieve many goals without it taking over your life, I see so many people every single day doing just that.
Friendships and relationships can often shape who you are as a person, but they shouldn’t ever dominate you or your wellbeing. Moving into my new apartment, and going through the turmoil I have over the past six months, has helped me see that. I’ve luckily become so happy in my own company, often shutting and locking the door is my favourite time of the day. To sit, unfiltered, unrestrained and independently at one with yourself, is seriously the best thing for your soul. You build a new sense of being, and develop a new happiness of which can’t be rivalled. It’s the most refreshing feeling. Also, don’t you think relationships and friendships will develop more naturally with the strength of confidence and comfortability within oneself? Because I do. Happiness comes when you yourself are the most content. Words to live by, I tell ya!
Look, I’m fully aware this is going to be a journey, and will be very difficult at times because quite frankly, I care too much! I’m stupidly passionate and this can sometimes be my downfall. However, now is the time for me to focus on what is right, who is right, and above all things, myself! I am super happy with the direction my life is going, and sit here, in this fabulous Garden of Eden, and feel overwhelmed with pride and serenity. So, my advice, don’t be scared of self reflection, and don’t be scared to take a leap into the unknown.
I’m not trying to preach here but something about the sun on my face, the birdsong, the trickle of water into the pond and the fresh smell of home cooking has made me go all Eat Pray Love all of a sudden. The tranquility surrounding me has inspired this personal development and I am for one, super excited to see what comes next! However, I must now dash as my nephew is here for an Easter Egg hunt… Uncle Roro to the rescue!
Happy Easter,
Love Roro XOXO
Rowan Barr 