Today’s writing spot brings me back to where it all started; the viewing corner. This evening’s delicious view is truly picturesque. How can a November night look so… special? The sky is so deep it blends seamlessly into the surrounding architecture and rolling river that curves beneath me. The stillness from said river takes your breath away as the reflections of ever glowing lights stare right back at me. A beautiful feature of Manchester, I haven’t witnessed quite like this before, the bright dots of light speckled across the diverse skyline, warning off dangers but gloriously framing the amazing buildings that have embedded into culture over time. One bright shining star stands still and proud in the sky directly in my line of sight. Almost winking at me, saying: “look, I’m here, I’m proud, I’m with you”. I stare just slightly too long at it. The city seems quiet, reserved almost. I feel a calmness overtake me and wrap its warming arms around me. I open the balcony door to breathe in the air. Euphoria hits.
The simple chorus of a guitar played in sobering symphony with lyrics, which echo so real and true, fill the air around me. I take a moment. A deep breathe. Spotify once again shuffles through a homegrown playlist perfect for this moment. And there it is, that moment that takes your breath away… That one song. That thought provoking, awe-inspiring song. I just simply have to type.
You’re getting an early one this week, but after this Mega Monday™ I need a minute to myself to decompress, so the first thing I thought of doing was discussing my thoughts with all of you. My little safety blanket. I’m so grateful to all who have read and are continuing to read, you’re genuinely making my life. Anyway, enough about that.
There’s a moment every now and then that music can truly transform you. Take over your every being and render you helpless, startled, silenced and overwhelmed. Sam Fender has done this to me of late. Perplexed by his beautiful song-writing and simply stunning composition, my mind takes over and delves deep into my soul leaving only one burning question: Are we always on stage?
My existence has been filled with moments of self-display, as I’m sure most of yours have. I threw myself into theatre from an early age and almost seamlessly hid my academia from the rest of the world. The stage isn’t a scary place for me at all. The characters I have created will haunt me for the rest of my life. Method, right? But, one thing that frightens the daylights out of me is putting my true self out there on the stage we call life. Does anyone else feel that way?
You might be sat there, reading this, thinking come on Ro, you’re writing a blog, how silly for you to say you are scared. But that’s just it. This is bloody scary. I feel vulnerability to its core throughout this process. But I have something to say, and feel this is one of the most idyllic ways for me to get my point across.
Sam Fender does the same. Without this feeling like a music review, his latest song captures all these feelings so poetically I just had to talk about it. The pressure there is to ‘perform’ to society is simply immense. Let me try and break it down for you. Have you woken up in the morning riddled with anxiety to find the perfect outfit for the day ahead? Have you stared into the mirror ensuring this one exact piece of hair is where you feel it necessarily has to be? Do you ever feel a surge of panic as you are walking along that from behind something tremendously horrendous has happened to your walk or outfit? Are you constantly reworking your words in your head to ensure you say what you believe others think you should say? Yes, is my answer.
However, I’d like to rebuttal. Who in god’s name can dare decide any of the above for you? Your outfit is perfect for your day ahead. Your hair is perfect for how you wish it to be. Your walk and outfit are sublime just the way they are and you exude impressive confidence. Your words are so true to you that they could never be questioned. So, why do we feel the constant need to perform to our society? Sam (can I call you Sam?!) puts this majestically into perspective with one simple line: “If you see me smiling, it’s forceful and violent”. This breaks my heart. These words resonate so deeply within me. Why do we feel the need to force ourselves into a societal norm set by… I don’t even know who anymore. Putting our fears on display will turn people away, as Sam beautifully says, but why? Vulnerability is not scary, its enticing!
What is this perfectionist world we currently live in? “Perfection” has been decided before it has even begun to be explored. The unique are perfection. We are the unique. WE are perfection. WE are marvellous, just the way WE are!
I celebrate you. I adore every single one of you and every single thing about all of you! Be proud. Be vibrant. Be free!
The most love,
Roro XOXO
Rowan Barr 